What Were You Thinking?

Speaker. Mentor. Podcaster

Long before the question was asked, life seemed so predictable, peaceful, and even simple. The war that was about to ensue was neither wished for nor anticipated. The art of shock and awe has long thrived upon the mastery of surprise and diversion, yet your ability to comprehend will be far outweighed by emotions of betrayal, disgust and shame.

Up until now, the road of life has offered numerous curves, turns and twists, yet logic would never include an option for delusions of grandeur. Maybe, I could’ve done something different—you think to yourself; yet the burden you feel is vaguely reminiscent of a silhouette for logic and reason. Nevertheless, a Grand Canyon sized hole in your heart is all that remains visible in the pile of ash from deeds performed in secret.

A long list of questions can simply be consolidated into one—What were you thinking? The profound nature of the response is only surpassed by the actions themselves. Life in rewind reveals details once covered up in denial and enabled in bliss. Regardless of the circumstance, the pain of betrayal will not soon be forgotten.

What were you thinking

The long series of events can be found embedded in the character of its actors, yet the outcome will determine victory or failure. The shock and awe phase is merely the perverted reward for the performance of the participants. Are you kidding me? I didn’t ask for this and I don’t deserve this! That may very well be true, but please remember that resolve as you continue reading.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable.” (NIV)

Many people have asked me, “How can I ever recover from my boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse from having cheated on me?” I’ve long since come to understand this to be code language for, “Is there any hope for me and will I ever be ok again?” Regardless of how you ask the question, the answer is YES—there is genuine hope and recovery for you.

By the way, have you ever considered performing an in-depth inventory of all your relationships? Are you sure you haven’t turned a blind eye to a series of covert threats that have been marginalized as acceptable values over a period of time?

I’ve never heard a young woman say to me, “My dream is to someday be married to a man who belittles me all the time and makes me feel insignificant. I also want him to be committed only on his terms, because a man can’t love just one woman—and I don’t want to interrupt his time with his friends just so he can help me put our children to bed.” Yet the reality is widespread in that so many women have ransomed their virginity to move in with their boyfriends to “play house” as if to pretend that is an acceptable replacement for a genuine marriage commitment. Listen, relationships based upon real commitment have no “Get out free” clause.

On the other hand, the self inflicted wounds of the emotional disrespect of women and young women alike has left many opportunistic men convinced that a female’s name begins with “B” and ends with “itch.” Sadly, this tragic state of mind is responsible for endorsing countless catfights, backseat encounters and rumors of supremacy.

If truth really mattered, then the words, “I’m sorry” would take on a whole new meaning of relevancy in a court of law where the act was punished rather than the actor. Threats once marginalized as harmless and acceptable will no longer be tolerated when the pieces of your life are restored once again. The old signs bearing your name as naive, gullible, or blind will soon be replaced with warnings and a security perimeter of protection for the one thing you cannot afford to ever lose again—Peace.

Listen—sex addiction and sensual influences in life is a real threat to genuine relationships. You might be under attack right now in your mind and heart, and feel too ashamed to admit it or move forward? I want to give you an opportunity to take a first step toward a new life of freedom regardless of how much it hurts to recognize it.

No one is immune to the human condition, better known as life. I assure you this, you are not alone, and you certainly are not the only person skilled in misery, failure, or brokenness. Maybe it’s your turn to break the cycle today by sharing your story with someone who cares—Me.

Until next time, Be encouraged.


I speak to hundreds of thousands of young adults, men, women, and couples annually on leadership, decision making, and relationships.  Sometimes life has a way of being the antidote to life itself. If you’d like more information on this topic or how to bring me in as a speaker for your next event, please  contact me.

In the meantime, I encourage you to subscribe to my Tribe/Newsletter on my homepage. Post your comment below, Share my blogs with your friends on social media, and visit my website often for daily inspiration.


Egypt McKee

Speaker | Author | TV Host | Life Coach

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